Mommy doesn’t like to think about this AT ALL.
She knows I’m getting older, and my days are getting shorter. I sleep much more, and sometimes I get very short of breath. I know Benj Benj Benj Benj Benj will help her.. but we still don’t want to think about it, because it makes us both very very sad.
We focus on positive things, like climbing another stair on my own, and yummy yummy supper, and barking at strangers, and snuggles, and warm baths, and how SILLY Benj Benj Benj is.
What she struggles with, is people who don’t understand what it means to lose someone so close. When she lost her own mum and pop she was baffled by people. Those she thought would be very comforting and close – were angry – with her – for no apparent reason. They suddenly became the MOST critical, judgemental people in her life – OR – They just disappeared completely. One’s that she thought were friends added injury to already huge and gaping wounds. It was very confusing and very hard, but somehow she made it through.
The article she found – is great to share with people who belittle and minimize loss… of dogs – or anyone really. If you don’t have something nice to say, or if you’re struggle with other issues and find your friend’s melancholy exasperating – PLEASE DON’T SAY – well “it was JUST a dog”. It’s mean, and cruel and well – dehumanizing. That DOG was someone’s BEST FRIEND!
What can you do for someone who’s lost someone (a dog or a human)?
- BE THERE. Don’t smother – but remind them they you care.
- Be extra gentle if they are emotional or moody or seem confused.
- Help with little things IF they need it.
- Confusion is a symptom, a reminder that LIFE has changed forever, and we are confused for a time about how to reorganize it.
- Remind them of the GOOD memories of their loved one.
- Remind them them that they are strong.
- Remind them of things they enjoy – and SEE if they still enjoy them.
- Remind them of heaven.
- Mostly remind them, that they’re not alone.
Why Losing a dog can be harder than losing a human (link to article).
Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring–it was peace.
— Milan Kundera